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Tree?

Posted on Sunday, December 6, 2009 in Legitimate concerns

I’ve looked in the garage, the hall closet, the shed, the guestroom, the office, under the beds, even behind my bulky wedding dress, only to be completely disappointed to NOT find my little trusty fake Christmas tree. I can’t honestly sell myself on the idea that I sold it in the garage sale we had before we moved into our new house, but seeing as my memory is only slightly better than a goldfish’s, that very well could be the case. All I can do is hang my head in shame and sadness. I had such plans for tree. While my husband seems to be letting out a sigh of relief that something so tacky as tree will not be a part of our Christmas tradition this year, I am painfully processing this deep loss of tree.

It was a beautifully grotesque, +/- 3 ft tall, fiber optic gem, complete with changing colors and pliable limbs. Perfect for that empty tabletop in every single gal’s house. Could it be that I let the fact that a man was willing to marry me be a good enough reason to cast off this perfectly good tree? Was I coerced? Blackmailed? Unaware of some crime that took place where my tree was killed and the evidence neatly thrown away? Or, even worse, did I simply leave it somewhere, sending it the ghastly unforgivable message that I didn’t love or need it anymore? What kind of tree owner am I? When did I ever believe that I had the right to own a fiber optic tree? I can’t even remember where I saw it last. At this point, all I can see is the tree’s premiere year, in all it’s glory, casting red, green, blue, pink, purple shadows on my thrift store furniture and white walls. Many a night, tree and I sat together in cozy silence (it was like that for us, no awkward silences between us, no sir!), I, wishing I had a real tree, and tree, wishing it was a real tree…

Husband has a convincingly blank look on his face when questioned about tree. I’m close to eliminating him as a possible suspect. And since he could really only be the one other suspect, I am forced to consider the possibility that the blame falls on me. I, myself, carelessly (and I must add, hastily) parted ways with tree, without ceremony or proper farewells. Probably under the arm of some thrifty shopper who plucked it out of the piles of treasures we sold during our yard sale. I probably put it into the ‘sell pile’ foolishly thinking that a real tree could easily replace the hole in my heart caused by the eventual realization of the loss of tree. I’m only hoping that if this is what actually happened to tree, that it is being properly cherished this year. Oh, and I hope we got a good price for it!

In the inevitable spirit of moving on, we put up our real Christmas tree last night. Lots of pretty Christmas decorations are in place. The inflatable penguin is waving in a friendly fashion to all of our neighbors. The poinsettia is proudly watching over the kitchen and living room. Stockings are hung, our Christmas Village, complete with trees and snow, is displayed. Our napping Santa in his rocking chair is gracing the top of our piano. Husband has expertly (and might I add, beautifully) lined our roof line and front window with Christmas lights. I will enjoy Christmas this year, because I am thankful to be married to an exceptional man and know that I am lucky to be spending Christmas in his arms. Additionally, between both my husband and I, we have amazing family members with which to celebrate the season. Despite all of this, the decorations, the family, the food, there will be a tiny part of me, thinking about tree, missing tree. I’ll take comfort in knowing without a doubt, that tree will bring joy to whomever is lucky enough to sit in it’s comfortable silence and colorful shadows.

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tree

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